Bertessa's Manhattan. Josef Frank's Manhattan design.

“Hey, come out, a bunch of us are having a drink.”
“XYZ Class HAPPY HOUR! DIVE BAR near you!”
“There’s gotta be a bar somewhere near that subway stop, wait for me there.”

Any of the above can easily lead to a dive bar. I’m using the dive designation broadly to encompass anywhere that:

• has a digital jukebox
• smells pleasantly of stale beer
• isn’t conducive to open-toe shoes because the floor is gross
• allows and encourages beer pong

I am NOT saying that dive bars are bad.  They are a critical piece of any normal social life, but they may not make the best cocktails.  They definitely won’t have a cocktail menu, and the bartender may throw you out for requesting drinks he/she can’t pronounce (plus some patrons may then identify you as an easy mark).

What to do?

You could order a beer.  Unless this is a true dive, there will be some decent beer.  If it’s such a dive there is no decent beer, then definitely order a beer – from bottle if possible.

“I don’t like beer.”  “I’m on a low-carb diet.”  “Damnit, I want a friggin cocktail!”

Right-o, then, let’s think about the criteria for a cocktail you can try in the dive setting:

1. manly (even better if you’re female)
2. dark color (kinda like beer) (see point 1)
3. simple ingredients
4. not too many ingredients
5. taught in any bar course the tender may have once taken
6. resilient to poor craftsmanship
7. enough alcohol to sanitize the glass

Your dive bar testing cocktail: MANHATTAN

Ingredients

1 whiskey

1/2 sweet vermouth

bitters

Why The Manhattan

If the bar fails on any of these points, skip cocktails:

1. any bartender should know it and what’s in it
2. can be made with bourbon (e.g., Jim Beam), something even the diviest bar will have
3. vermouth is the first basic after beer and basic liquors
4. bitters, typically Angostura, are right after vermouth in the basics list

From there, even inverting the ratios will yield something drinkable.

Go forth and fear not, even when diving.

How I make a Manhattan

1 Rye Whiskey

1/2 Sweet Vermouth

6 drops orange bitters

Combine in a shaker and shake.  Serve either up or on the rocks as you prefer.  Garnish with a maraschino cherry.  Be sure to have a stem on the cherry – people can pick it up that way, and the best people can knot that stem in a way that impresses their company at a dive bar.   I know.  I’ve impressed people this way.

A note:

I think Wednesdays are a good day for a regular post.  That makes this the inaugural “What I’m Having” Wednesday post.  The idea will be to cover a basic (that I wouldn’t give blog love otherwise), or let me express a limited thought about how or why something is so.